Self-confidence is a choice. WHAT??? Yes really. Ultimately, we must first make the choice to be confident. It is a decision that we must take. In this article I share with you some strategies to help you improve your confidence. You will learn that self-confidence is much deeper than simply pretend until we get there. You know, “Fake it until you make it.”
I decided to write about self-confidence following a discussion with a candidate, “How did you become so confident at anything you do? “I honestly did not know what to say. Upon reflection, I realized that my method was just the famous “Fake it until you make it!” In my heart, I knew very well that there is much more complex than simply pretending.
As I do not have all the answers, I called my friend and business coach Mindie Kniss. After a good half hour of discussion, I’m really happy to share with you the strategies which, I hope, will help you improve your confidence, since it is so important for your life and your career.
A great way to build your confidence is to practice visualization. It has been demonstrated by sports psychologists that when an athlete practices his performance in his head, this practice affects the muscles and neurons. In fact, they work as if it was for real.
Try it! Close your eyes and imagine yourself behind the desk for your dream job. Where is your computer located? What kind of pen do you use? Who are the members of your team? What have you seen in your office? Do this exercise several times and when you are interviewed for the famous dream job, you will act just as if it was already yours.
You can imagine, visualize the same thing if you lack confidence in you job interview. How is the interview room? How does the recruiter? Are you comfortable? Are you getting asked some though questions?
Do what the athletes do! After all, why not treat your career as an elite sport? These mental repetitions allow your subconscious to act as if it was the millionth time you make that famous interview and you will be surprised how much it will be easy.
Practice is good, but action is better.
One of the best way to build confidence is to be in action. Visualization, that’s fine. Now, you must take a risk and try. If you are afraid to make cold calls, do the first, second. Practice with a friend or colleague. But you need to jump right in and be in ACTION.
Yes, the first few times, you will probably be bad. But the more you do it, the better you’ll be. If you experience difficulties, remember that practice will help you gain confidence.
Confidence – vs – Self Esteem
Self-esteem is your assessment of your own worth. Self-confidence is the way you present yourself to others. It is connected to the context.
Confidence – vs – Arrogance
The line is not so thin as people think between confidence and arrogance. The arrogant person demonstrates by his energy and the way he talks that he has something to prove.
A confident person does not need to rant for hours to prove his worth. She listens and knows how to score points when she speaks and expresses herself calmly.
In an interview, the recruiter will appreciate confidence. Stay calm and composed, answer questions, demonstrate your interest in the job in question, do your research etc.
Often an insecure and arrogant person will be impossible to silence. Here is a good clue to decipher what’s in front of you in the interview room!
The Law of Attraction
This one is incredibly powerful; most people neglect this way to attract what they want in their lives. Everything starts with thought, and what is wonderful is that we have 100% control over what happens in our brain.
Want to improve your life? Improve your thoughts.
What to do when your environment affects your confidence?
First, know that you are the average of the 5 persons you are closest with. When we talk about our family, we do not really have a choice to tolerate. We can still have the discussion and explain to them that their behavior does not help us. Most of the time, these people love us and will try to correct it.
When speaking of our friends, we must be careful who we let into our lives. Everything depends on our personality, our tolerance level, and how we are influenced by our surroundings.
If you are the brightest person in your street, you may have to move if you want to continue to grow and improve yourself!
First, make the choice to be confident. Visualize the person you want to become, expand your confidence without falling into arrogance, surround yourself with people who have a similar vision and goals to yours, and use the law of attraction to get the life of your dreams.
Some books to refer to…
Losier Michael J. Law of attraction : The Science of Attracting More of What You Want And Less of What You Don’t; Grand Central Publishing, May 12, 2010, Soft cover, English. ISBN: 9780446199735
Maltz, Maxwell. Psycho-Cybernectics; Pocket Books, August 15 1989, English. ISBN : 9780671700751